I boarded the plane leaving Charles de Gaulle Airport, bound for the rolling pasture hills of Kentucky and home to my husband and three boys. I was tired from endless days of walking the streets of Paris (pitiful, right?) and looked forward to the next eight hours of mindless movie watching and snoozing.
I sorted my must-haves for the flight ahead and plopped down in my seat. Next to me sat a man who hadn’t looked up since my arrival.
I’m all for quiet travel. In fact, I welcome it. Yet I couldn’t not break the ice with a smile, hello and witty quip about the long trip before us to the man in the window seat. So ahead I forged with my quip to the quiet one beside me.
An American expat living in France, Don was a businessman traveling back to the states for work. We were, by all accounts, a very un-likely pair to connect. Yet we did. Instantly. Occasionally I would see fellow passengers glance our way as our initial hesitant hello grew over the hours to some of the best conversation I’ve had in a really long time.
Maybe you’ve had this same experience before. One of those rare moments when you know the right person has crossed your path at just the right time in life. They, without knowing, speak deeply to what your mind and soul need to hear. That was the gift Don gave me over the Atlantic.
Business concepts, strategies, hesitancy and self-doubt were secretly becoming all-consuming (maybe you know the feeling?) and I was struggling for clarity. Don, in the final years of a long-term career and one who has both succeeded and failed, learned and grew from it all, listened as this blonde-haired stranger poured out her entrepreneurial insecurities to him. He mostly listened and sagely shared wisdom with me. We talked about expectations and pressure and the enormity of responsibility when diving into the unknown. He nodded his head in agreement often and generously shared kind smiles and reassuring words.
Weeks have passed since that flight and still his words and actions play in my mind. Without him ever knowing, they’ve helped re-instill confidence in my goals and dreams and given me clarity for the journey ahead.
Man: Friend or Foe? I smile each time I read the cover because depending who I ask, the answer will most definitely (and likely with lots of back story, bias, sentiment and reasoning) be different.
This magazine was birthed out of a passion to share the stories of businesswomen worldwide, encompassing all points in the journey and not respective to any particular walk of life. And as much as this is a magazine about women, we will never discount the role that men play in our journeys. Because their role is vital, if we allow it. We must allow it.
Women. We sorta rock, don’t we? I’ll save some precious retail space called ‘word count’ by letting you fill in the blanks on why, although my daily to-do list is proof enough that I could run a small country effectively and still provide a home cooked meal at the day’s end. And when I start to forget what I’m capable of, there are plenty of reminders everywhere I turn–from NY Times bestsellers to motivational TED talks that tell me, ad nauseam, it’s true. I rock.
As a businesswoman, I love businessmen. In fact, I am a better businesswoman because of them. They help sharpen our skills by countering our objectives. They challenge our thought pattern (remember, they are from Mars) and help us see things from a new vantage point. They can teach us how to command attention in a room, if need be, and they can walk us through the art of closing a deal when our strength is merely making a new friend across the table (ok…I’m speaking for myself on those last two).
Almost weekly I am asked about this whole concept of cake and whiskey. The sweet and the spirited. The culturally feminine and the culturally masculine. Our events nationwide, where we indeed eat cake and drink whiskey, are for women, because as women we DO derive energy and strength from one another. Yet, to see man as an adversary (which unfortunately is the underlying current in some women-based circles) negates the benefits men can offer us and our careers.
A friend and colleague explained his point of view: “Often we as men are criticized for our oppressive policies and actions intended only to put the woman down. In that way, I feel some women take this sentiment to the natural conclusion that they don’t need man, any man, to be successful. While it is in an ambitious woman’s best interest to stand out on her own, she’d be doing a tremendous disservice to cast aside men who have the ability to help. Like any civil rights movement, you need support from leaders within the majority to move forward as a minority.”
This letter is not an attempt to dialog about glass ceilings, gender equality issues or suppression. Terrible circumstances exist for women around the globe that need our compassion and our action. But my hope is that for us who have the freedom to explore our careers and take on challenges in life, we’ll seize the opportunities around us to learn from and work alongside the maddening yet amazing species called “men.”
And I hope someday soon you’ll get the rare opportunity to sit by a quiet fellow with loads of insight and encouragement. Go ahead. Take that leap and break the ice with a smile and a witty quip.
