Focus on the Light

“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath

Recently, I have been struggling with self-doubt, which plays a tug-of-war game with the butterflies in my stomach: Doubt pins down their wings. The butterflies fight back and try to remind me that yes, the change they’re leading me to is valid and right. But the struggle leads to frustration and immobility: I make little progress on my goals.

In a moment of frustration last week, I looked up the meaning of the word “doubt” and discovered that it has both Latin and French origins. The French definition goes back to the word doǔter, or to fear.

By doubting myself, I was fearing myself.

Then another quote came to my mind, this one by Maryanne Williamson: “Our greatest fear isn’t that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most.”

This resonated along with my new understanding of the word doubt and resulted in a new sensation: self-trust.

By leaning more into the light and realizing that I do trust, not fear, myself, I quiet the doubt. To face it dead-on and add my strength and desire to the butterflies, I can quiet the self-doubt.

It’s time to start.

After effectively retiring in the fall of 2014 from her corporate career running operations for a high-growth healthcare start-up company, Meghan Bollenback reinvented her professional life by becoming a writer and creative in Washington, D.C.  You can join Meghan as she navigates this new stage by following her blog www.megbollenback.com, where she discusses the process of intentionally crafting a valuable and joyful career.